So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

It always seems to be that some Bible verse will suddenly bombard me on my path when I least expect it. The past 24 hours or so has brought me to further examine one of my favorites (and probably one of the best known excerpts from the letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians....)

It began with a free Saturday night, tired and relaxing, I decided to finally watch the movie "The Mission", which had been sitting in my room in the case with the X-files movie, both lent to me, in the hopes I'd get around to watching them. So after months and months of the DVD starring back at me, something inside moved me to actually pick up The Mission and put it in the DVD player. With a year-old crocheting project in hand (the tiny square is slowly turning into a blanket - yay!), I sat down to absorb all the wisdom the movie might bestow upon me.
The first thing that excited me about the movie as I watched was the appearance of Liam Neeson (well, after the beautiful rushing water and green foliage). For some reason I really like him, so it was kind of fun to see him playing a Jesuit.
The second moment in the movie that caught my attention (and stirred something in my heart, too) was when Cpt. Mendoza reaches the mission land after his long journey with the Jesuits and breaks down and cries after the rope is cut free by the people from the tribe he had been enslaving and killing. That scene so strongly showed the power of forgiveness and the power of love. Also seeing how God can work through us. Then when Mendoza reads the verse from Corinthians 13, given to him by Father Gabriel, the power of those words seemed to take on a whole new meaning, particularly in service. "Though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not love, I am nothing." --- that's pretty powerful stuff there. It's useless to simply have faith, or to do works of service without love.

Then of course today's second reading at Mass was that reading. I've been doing meditations from "The Word Among Us", and so the meditation for today was about that reading. I've realized that really "faith, hope and love" are what help me day by day to be patient, and to serve the best I can.

Then I was reading more in The Irresistible Revolution today, and happened to come across the message again "if we sell all that we have and give it to the poor, but have not love, it is meaningless."
I started feeling that fire burning again in my heart - that I have to do something more, with love, to work for systemic change. Not just giving a bit of time here, a dollar or two there, but really dedicating myself to helping heal our society. To help build up a healthy community of love. I feel like I'm being challenge - to give up my life of comfort for something greater- to get back to the fundamental roots of the Christian community. To live the life I did during JVC, but deeper and more intentional, and with even more love than before.
In reality I don't feel ready, but I feel like I need to get there. It's a radical call, and I know I should just trust God. But I'm not quite there yet. I can feel that my faith and trust are deeper than before, but I feel like I have a long way to go before I can make it there. It's scary. Then there's the whole "vocation" thing. I don't think I am called to be a religious sister, and at times I get strong tugs towards married life and becoming a mother. However, sometimes I get the sense I should be leaving behind the life I have here and going somewhere to live in simplicity and build relationships with the poor and undeserved. I still think that all started my junior year of high school when I saw the movie Choices of the Heart in religion class.

I've been thinking about going to grad school to get my masters in social work, or something similar. But again, I'm not sure if that's the path I want to take. (also, I don't think I can afford it). In what I read today, I started to think - do I really need that masters to do what i want to do? to serve as I am called to?
Yes, I do need more education, but how so?

Well, that's enough pondering for one night. more at another time.