"'Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland' Says the Lord." Isaiah 43:18-19
As I came to reflect on the year that has passed, I flipped my daily "promises for students" calendar to Dec 31st, and discovered that passage was the verse for the day. I figured it was fitting, but I'm going to ignore the first part for just a few moments to reflect on the past, and look forward to the future.
2009 has been quite an interesting year. I can't say that it has been my favorite year so far, but I think it's the first year in a long time that I've grown so much. I feel like I'm ending this year in a much healthier place - emotionally, spiritually, and physically- than before. I have a greater sense of self, and have felt more accomplished. I've learned to deal with disappointment and change (though it's still not easy, I'm managing it better). I still have a long way to go, but I've come to identify the areas I need to work on more clearly.
2009 was a year of losses and loves of different kinds. I mourned the loss of my JVC year (07-08) and tried to adjust to the loss of freedom that came with moving back home in the fall of 08. It was a struggle, but I find myself in a better place. I've learned how to take responsibility and am trying to make an effort to be more independent while also being respectful of my mother.
I lost a relationship that had been building over the past few years, and was sad to see it go, but in the end I grew so much from it, and know that it happened for a reason. I wouldn't have grown if I had stayed. My only regret is that along with that, I lost a friend somewhere along the way. I pray that someday that friendship can be mended.
I did better at taking care of myself during 2009- from starting to take daily vitamins regularly, joining the gym (though I don't go as often as I should), taking a yoga class, and using my DBT skills :) ... to cope with the rockiness of life.
I was on team for two retreats, where I built new friendships,renewed old ones, and grew closer to God. I gave talks on both ACTS retreats, which was in itself part of my healing process. The theme of one was LOVE, and it was full of Love. I realized just how important my community is to me, and how much I have grown since my first retreat. I also spoke a witness to the confirmation class, and amt eaching 6th grade CCD for the first time.
I babysat for some adorable kids. I dealt with a dead car battery and brought my car in to get fixed, by myself, for the first time. I made some trips to Boston and elsewhere to visit friends, and relive my JV days as a camp counselor at Casserly House. I witnessed the baptism of a friend's baby. I read the entire Twilight series, and enjoyed it. I worked over a year at the hospital and am still enjoying it quite a bit, as well as having made some great friend's there. I learned to play tennis, and don't stink at it so much anymore :)
I started 2009 in New Orleans and then with a swamp tour, holding a baby gator. I vowed to take more risks during the year. I think I did pretty well with that.
I started a new relationship with a guy that has helped me to see myself in a way I haven't before. It's been a fun few months getting to know each other, as well as being open to growing together in a variety of ways (most importantly spiritually). It's the first time I've been in a relationship that I hadn't known for a while as a friend or acquaintance before dating, so it's been a new experience. It's also the first time I've been in a dating relationship where I've been "discerning" it - praying about it, and really being open to what God has planned for me- whether it be this relationship, or something else. I'm determined to keep God at the center from now on, which I've let slip a little in the past.
So I head into 2010 filled with hope and an open mind/heart to what the new year will bring. I also bring with me some goals/resolutions.
1. To continue to grow independent and confident in my abilities, as well as become more assertive.
2. To create a healthy life style by: eating healthier, going to the gym at least once a week and building a routine with my yoga practice, continue to take my vitamins daily, keep good dental habits
3. To improve my social habits - to be more open to meeting new people and deepening existing friendships, to continue to overcome social anxiety by taking risks and letting people in.
4. To read more consistently, and get through at least a few of the books on my "to read" list
5. To figure out a career path and apply to graduate school.
6. To continue to deepen my spiritual life/relationship with God (more spiritual/scripture reading, and more consistent journaling). Keep trusting God.
7. To try the following: Sushi, swing dance or other ballroom dance lessons, learn to drive standard
