Wow, so it's been a while, but I decided instead of posting this as my status on facebook, as is the way these days, I chose to blog about it. Now that I have finished graduate school and am only working my part-time job, I have taken on a new project: cleaning and reorganizing my room. Mainly, I want to try to get rid of much stuff as possible, and make a more pleasant living space. Also, when I finally move, I want it to go more smoothly, so I'm hoping this will help. Anway...
Cleaning 26 years of stuff out of my closet (literal and figuratively) is no easy task!! Been at it for a while and it's definitely overwhelmingly emotional... some funny stuff in there, and I'm baffled at some of the items that I thought were essential to keep only a few years ago. Artwork from preschool through my JV year. A bag full of notes with assorted symbols between "clips" and "moon". Notes from old best friends, old boyfriend(s), cards from teachers, cards from family, and so on. Sentimental words, and not so sentimental words... Notes from classes from sixth grade to college. I am officially my mother's daughter (as if there was any question). All that "but you might need it someday." Yeah, I'm pretty sure I haven't looked at the stuff in the past 12 years, except to "clean" my closet every couple years, where I recycle about 1/2 of what I should, and save the other half in my sentimental "ohh, look at what I did then" moods. I still can't bear to part with some of it, but you should've seen the box to be recycled! I was proud. My mother would cringe, I'm sure, at what I decided to get rid of. (Sorry mom.)
It did make me appreciate all the people that have had an impact on my life, both those still in my life, those who have died, and those who have made their way out of my life, through choice or circumstances. Looking back, the only thing I wish I had done differently was to keep in touch better with some friends than I have. But, alas, that is one of my weaknesses...the social struggle. It should be comforting that many of the old letters I read included words about me being a great friend. However, my old journals suggested otherwise: I could be bossy and selfish. I could let others take advantage of my kind nature at times. I couldn't make up my mind to save my life for the past 20 + years. Ok, end angst-y rant.
The experience has truly been enhanced by the choice of Pandora radio station, which made it extra nostalgic. My choice? Backstreet Boys radio. Enter hit tunes from the 90's and 00's. Songs from 10 years ago... and a select few more recent melodies.
Anyway, I'm working on clearing out/sorting out parts of the past in order to simplify my life, and make room for the present/future.
Okay, well my "break" is almost over and I have to get back to the mess that awaits me so I will be able to get into my bed tonight.
Thanks for listening cyber world.
