On courage

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."
-Earl Wilson


Waiting. That's what Advent is all about- waiting for peace and joy, and courage.

I'm losing patience in my waiting, and pray constantly for the patience to make it through the days at work before I can see my loved one's in CT. Only a couple days away now!

Only one more day of After School Program before a week's break. Yay!

In closing my short ramblings, I pray that anyone reading this will experience the peace and joy of the season.

"To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown of the nest."- Pema Chodron

"Look at life as an energy economy game. Each day, ask yourself, Are my energy expenditures (actions, reactions, thoughts, and feelings) productive or nonproductive? During the course of my day, have I accumulated more stress or more peace?"- Doc Childre and Howard Martin


Once again I find myself at this point where I'm stressed out and yearning to be calm amidst the chaos of my job. Everything else is really going well (except that I'm starting to get sick again- but I think that being stressed out is one reason for that). I'm so thankful for the wonderful people in my life. My housemates/community members being on the top of that list right now. Living "in community" defintely helps a lot in getting through the rough stuff. Just being able to go home and hang around in the kitchen, dining room, and living room - to joke and dance and eat and knit together-- those are the moments that make the others more bearable.
I've also thinking about how much community living is a good model for what family life should be like.

well, gotta get back to work again. I'll try to update more soon.

"If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through."

So I'm in between time at work - waiting for the kids to show up, and thought I'd take a moment to update. I recieve quotes in my email from "HeartMath" and they always seem to be so appropriate (or at least most of the time). The title of my post is one- and it's something I have to remind myself, and applies so much to perservering in my work, even when it gets tough. I learned a lot the past couple weeks about not giving up, even when I really wanted to. I organized a field trip for my children to go to a Halloween Party, and it actually went really well. I had fun, the kids had fun, and I learned a lot about being the coordinator. I'm not sure I'm very good at it, but I'm getting practice and getting better. Making it through events like that show me that I am capable.

Friday was good, but had a sad moment too. This one woman who I've worked with a little in the morning came in more dressed up than usual, and we learned she was leaving to go back to her home country(though we weren't completely positive if she was or not, as she didn't say it outright). What really touched my heart was when she hugged my supervisor, turned to walk out the door, then turned around, came over to me and gave me a hug, too. In that moment I saw and felt a deep kind of love- that love that we are all called to have for one another. There was gratitude in that hug- and it was coming from both ends. There was so much we had learned from each other in just two short months. It's simply amazing to me how such a connection can form in such a short time. I really almost cried.

Okay, I'm losing my train of thought, so I'm going to stop for now. Just wanted to refelct on some good moments. Here's another good quote I'll end with:

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."- Stephen Covey

Take care.

"The world is but a canvas to the imagination."

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."- HH the Dalai Lama

Heart of the Matter

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."- Albert Einstein

And so begins my journey. I started work this week, and it has been pretty enjoyable (until I was slightly overwhelmed today by the thought of what will happen when I'm actually in charge of a handful of kids, with my title of "director of after school program"... boy it's a lot of responsibility, and part of me is ready, while another part still isn't quite sure I can handle it.
Today I took a walk to run errands and meet some people, by myself, (errands for my supervisor around town, which meant me walking by myself and figuring out my way around).
I'm still trying to adjust to city life, but definitely like the idea of walking most places- even if that walk is to the T station down the way.

I love my community so far, we seem to all be in agreement. Hopefully things will stay that way, and we can really bond. :)

I'm trying my best to overcome a lot of my fears, and pushing myself beyond my comfort levels to try and accomplish new things. It has been great so far, but I think it's probably important to try not to push too hard- I don't want to hurt myself emotionally or physically. The past week has been pretty good overall, and there is definitely a lot of growth going on. I've really enjoyed working with the ESL classes in the morning and getting to know those students a little. I am learning more about the difficulties of immigration, housing issues, and how difficult the English language really is... I'm also trying to brush up a little on my Spanish, which has gotten very rusty, and I think slowly diminished! I'm hoping I can try and sneak in some Spanish learning myself while trying to teach English (though Sister prefers we only use English).

Anyway, there is so much going on and no way I could fully express the things that are going on at work and in my heart/head. Really just trying to live each day to the fullest, focusing on relationships, and trying to give it all to God, all for God.

Well, I have to head back to the house soon. It's definitely hard not having internet at home. I hate having to use it at work, and today is really the first day I've had to spend much time using the internet. Once I am able to get a library card, I'll be able to use it up to an hour a day or something like that, but for now I'm just getting in what I can while I'm here at work with a little free time.

I hope to update again soon!

From love, of love, for love

Orientation was really good and I am excited about the coming year. I am finally starting to settle in in Boston with my five housemates. Our house is pretty big and roomy, and it really has it's quirks, but as we continue to clean and rearrange stuff, it is starting to feel more like home.

We have taken the past couple days to go around the city and see all our job placements. It's been so busy, and this is the first time in over a week i have had access to internet, so it's kind of exciting. I start working on Monday, and I'm looking forward to it, though still not completely sure about what it will be like. This year promises to be fun and challenging. Community and simple living seems like it will be interesting as well.

I am hoping that I will have more opportunities to write more about my expierences in the future, but for now I'm going to continue relaxing with my community members and a couple FJVs. I'll try to update more information when I have more time, but just wanted to put in a few words about my experience so far.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step

Choosing this path was a difficult decision- I was not sure what I wanted to do, as far as which volunteer corps to go with. I've had my doubts too. But in the end it came down to trusting God, since my instincts didn't seem to be working at the time a decision was requested. So I'm heading off to JVC in just four days. I decided to start a blog to track my journey- in a physical, spiritual, and emotional sense.

I am excited and nervous to begin this new chapter in my life. A year in my life to do something different, and make a difference, at least in the lives of a handful of people. One of my goals is to work on relationship building. Also to learn to trust God and my community members- to be able to work towards my goal and face my fears.

In four days I will leave behind a small cow town, my crazy but loveable family, a caring boyfriend, and some great friends and venture out into the world unknown. I will journey to live in the city for a year- learning to mangage the public transportation system there, learning to live with five other volunteers in our community house, and learning how to be the director of an afterschool program...

Well, there is so much to do and so little time.
I'm off to get ready to go to mass ( where I'm most definitely going to be praying hard for this new journey), and later on doing some packing hopefully, trying to determine which clothing and personal items that I really want/need with me this year.