In the rise and falling apart we discover who we are

grr...

I'm so frustrated. I wish this didn't bother me, but it in fact does. I'm skeptical of some of the things that were said. I trust easily, and I don't.
My kindness is my strength and my weakness.


How was I to know anything was wrong? The silence should've given it away. How ignorant I am.
What happens in that fall?
When do I get to rise up again?
This situation is a "blessing and a curse".

I know I'm not making any sense. Mostly in my own head.

Part of me knows I am capable of keeping on, even though I feel like falling apart. The distance is so freakin painful.

Why when I am further away from people do I feel closer.
What the heck is wrong that once I am too close things tend to fall apart?

I know I am loveable, but sometimes I just don't feel that way. I know I shouldn't take things personally, but I do.

I have only hope... trying to figure out what's best for me. Trying to trust God and my own decisions. "What's meant to be will be"...